Well-meaning church leaders taught that if I did the right things, my life would be full of beauty and joy. But it wasn’t so simple. Though I showed up to church every time the doors were open, read my Bible, prayed, and served on the worship team, the darkness refused to lift.

Years of shame, self-harm, and a few planned suicide attempts taught me something I never expected: God is present in our deepest darkness. With that knowledge, I found the courage to venture beyond the church walls and find the professional help I needed to fight for wholeness and build a rich, beautiful life despite depression.

Now, I use my own ache to make the way easier for others. Through a decade of youth ministry, directing a nonprofit that mentored more than a thousand youth pastors, and working with suicidal young women in a residential facility, and my popular blog, I’ve helped thousands of others beat back the darkness, finding hope even when God chooses not to remove suffering.

I spend my days in Nashville with a man I adore, baring my soul for thousands of readers who need to know they can struggle and still have rich and beautiful lives in Christ.